Sep 15, 2016
I was six years old when life first asked me "the wrong question."
I was at my grandmother's house in Huntington, NY. We were sitting at the table playing cards. Grandma was in the process of beating me for something like the 100th time, when she asked me that confusing, intimidating, larger-than-life wrong question: "What do you want to be when you get older, Tony?"
"What do I want to be?" I repeated to myself, bewildered.
I panicked. I didn't know how to answer the question. In my six-year-old mind, I knew that I wanted to do whatever would be the most fun. But I simply responded, "Um ... a firefighter?"
As the years went on, I would cringe whenever someone asked the question. Over time, I started lying to give the people who asked it some type of answer.
I would say, "I'm really interested in the medical field."
Yeah, right.
The fact was that I had no interest in the medical field or being an accountant or a lawyer ... or ANYTHING that sounded like "the right answer."
To be honest, I didn't want to do anything that the world was teaching me to do because I didn't see the fun in any of it.
What I saw were the guilt-ridden faces of parents dropping their kids off at daycare so they could go work 10-hour days, the tired faces of employees complaining about the week ahead, and people everywhere taking their identities from their 60+ hour work weeks.
No, I just couldn't convince myself that any of this was "the right answer." And this outlook has opened my eyes to one big issue that I blame for driving much of our unhappiness, stress, and discontent.
"What Do You Do?": A Harsh Conditioning
If you think about how people are programmed, it's clear that virtually everything we're taught is geared toward helping us live safe, routine lives.
"Don't cross the street without looking." "Don't talk to strangers."
Sure, these things are meant to keep us out of harm's way, but what about the more insidious things like, "Go to college," "Get married," "Get a job"?
Many of us do these things simply because everyone else does. If we don't fall into line, we're the social equivalents of invading White Walkers on the city of Westeros!
We spend a huge portion of our lives "falling into line," and many people hate what they do. Think about that for a moment. Isn't 40+ hours a week too much to spend on something you despise? Is there anything we can do to change the status quo here?
Luckily, the answer is "yes."
Starting With the End in Mind
How do people wind up in dead-end jobs, with horrible bosses and soul-sucking cubicles?
They start from the beginning and they work toward the end. Unfortunately, we should be doing things opposite.
You see, when we start from the beginning and work toward the end, we fall into the trap of believing that being something -- be it a doctor, astronaut, school teacher, etc. -- will fulfill our goals and make us happy.
What we should be doing is starting from the end and working backward. Instead of aspiring to positions, we should aspire to lifestyles.
This, my friends, is the only true path to freedom.
Manufacturing Your Own Freedom
If you, like so many others, are living to work rather than working to live, you can change it. The solution is to start asking yourself the right questions, instead of the wrong ones.
How do you want to live? How much time do you want to spend with your family? How much do you want to travel?
When you start thinking like this, nothing is impossible. Not only can you manufacture the life and freedom you desire, but you can do it all quicker than you had ever imagined.
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